Mini Vibrators.

My sister has some foreign contraption called a hexbug, or something as dumb. It is pure evil. The thing costs way too much for something of it's caliber. They come in like 8 million colors and in packs of evil. It has no purpose but to vibrate and make an ear-grating sound and move around as if seized by an epileptic fit.

My tormenter.

Although their movements seem to be random, I know for a fact they seek flesh. I had not seen the demonic thing for a while, but while going on my daily journey to the couch, I heard the sound. At first I thought I was senile or it was my phone, but then the little fucker comes charging at me. I was of course, mortified, and instead of working, my legs decided to morph into spaghetti and I fell on my face. I laid on the floor for a while, afraid that if I sat up the hexdevil would strip me of my soul. However, I was found by my oblivious mom and told to stand up.

I tried to explain my few seconds of pure hell, however, my dearest mother did not appreciate my story, in fact branded it as "complete bullshit" and sauntered off. The hexbug was nowhere in sight. Ignorance is bliss, mother. Ignorance is bliss.

Anyway, I approached my sister angrily and asked her if she had anything to do with my recent assault. She shrugged nonchalantly, as if my near death wasn't important. The green contraption sat gleaming on the table, silently guffawing and awaiting his next attack. I left and sat on my bed, rocking back and forth and trying to think of ways to prevent future attacks.

I bought glue, mouse traps, rope, a knife and mallet, high heels, three lighters. However, the bug did not ever appear after it's initial crime. It made me waste $103 on nothing. I know for a fact it planned this, and when I throw out my menacing weapons, it will descend upon me again. Well played, hexfucker, but I always win.